The Absurdity to Kyon Kawasaki
by MrLeCHe
Summary: WIP What if Kyon Kawasaki was an orphan? What if he happened to be rescued with his sister by a Russian mercenary who happened to have the key to a new life and a fresh start to a violent life? Danger... is my life... and my only love I DISCLAIM CAHRACTR


**The Absurdity that is Kyon... Kawasaki!**

Hi! My name's Kyon Kawasaki and I was an orphan for most of my life since the age of 5. I spent most of my post-childhood living under the guidance of an old man: Vladimir Kuro a half Japanese-Russian bastard in both personality and genetics.

He was an old militant working with a classified special forces division under the title: Particle Disintegration. It was more of a mercenary force rather then a SF division for a military. It was composed of people with multiple connections to governments, wealthy people and the black market who killed and plundered for a living. I was adopted once... under the care of a family... although they didn't treat me so bad I was mentally tramautized with all the abuse I received at school and the bad luck I seemed to bring. SO one day I took a hooked butcher knife and murdered 'my' parents.

I then took their only daughter with me. Her true given name she dropped and took on the name: Taiga. Together with her we lived in a run down apartment, stealing, fighting and learning as we observed and studied the life around us and the things that resided in it. You wouldn't believe how crazy it was when HE found us.

We were starving and infected with disease and flea bitten.

He gave us a warm smile and took us to a underground warehouse where we received some gene therapy. He informed us we would survive however as half mechanical beings with nanomachines roaming through our blood increasing our usage of adrenaline giving us superhuman physical traits. He never really was a religious man but he sure wasn't an atheist from what I can tell, he was raised catholic but joined the army at a young age and continued fighting for quite a while.

We were now a part of the ex-Particle Disintegration agent's merc force: ARMED.

Advanced Reconnaissance Mechanically Evolved 'Dude's' no one for the life of me could tell me why it had the word 'dude' as part of the acronym but it sounded hell lot chill and relaxed then some military term like maybe 'militant' or 'soldier' (ARMEM or ARMES).

As ARMED we were tasked with reinforcing existing military forces however we were to instructed to fight for one side and one side only. Our paychecks weren't high but they were numerous. We also took contract killings and hitman like tasks. Our life was a repetition of violence, cliché and of course: a pain in the ass training regiment.

Now Vlad wasn't an asshole, as I said before he was a BASTARD! The man trained us in what he called 'Soldato' a sort of 'Way of the Soldier' like philosophy or something along the lines of a Bushido spoof. Never the less I'm glad that he trained us in 'Soldato' as we were then prepared to use a wide a range of weapons. He gifted us with a tithe of botanist knowledge, recognizing what plant would be used for what appliance, whether it be for death or for life.

I remember when we took out a bunch of yakuza wannabe's. At the time I usually traveled in a uncomfortable submarine or van or I was lucky enough to get some sort espionage mission and pretend to be some wealthy guy, I got to drive a Lamborghini.

At that time I remember falling in love with... her!

Her name was Kasumi Ichigo! She was beautiful! In both grace and beauty, she moved with such grace that belonged to some ballerina or dancer and dressed always in silver flowing clothes! Oh how I loved her! I would always wash her everyday and made sure that both she and I were comfortable! I'm thankful that I freed her from that bastardly punk! Taking advantage of her and making repeatedly use exclamation marks at the end of each sentence like this was some Metal Gear Solid game!

Oh and Ichigo is my ride, my baby and one of my joys in life. She's a motorcycle model that was in the works of some dude or company don't remember since repainting the whole thing; removed any original company's name painted on.

Now enough of that boring crap like they go about in Bishonen manga and crap.

It's been a few years since I got a mission like this one, and I really hoped it wasn't crappy like most of these missions since I always had to protect something belonging to some government or criminal overlord.

This mission was going to change my life... for a little while until I accept the fact that all the crazy shit that happened was real!

END OF PROLOGUE

Danger... there is always danger

But it is what we do that allows us to survive danger

My life is always danger....

People I know live..... and die

Isn't poetic to sing a sad song for the dead?

You may hear it, I might hear it but the dead do not

Their asleep. In their world of dreams and happiness

Danger... I am one with danger

AUTHOR'S NOTE

The limerick above was totally unintentional, I won't remove it since I will have to move it somewhere else.

I have NO beta reader, and I have no friends... (I'm such a loner)

Nor do I have any sort of internet broad communication account. So please review and I won't read any of them (please just PM me) because I hate reading for too long.

I will continue this project at several other times.

Oh and I don't care if you think I'm gay but actually I'm straight. I put that stuff about 'I would read the fanfic even if it was yaoi, straight or yuri justto get reactions and trolls on my ass.

Cheers!

Your bastard literally of a author (my parent's weren't wedded... and I'm totally cool with that)

Mr LeCHe

Oh and if the true chapter is on this fic please inform me via PM!

Also this isn't finished!

Chapter 1

I was going to Nishinomyia, Hyogo, Japan. To some school to protect a student by the name of Haruhi Suzumiya, the school was called 'North High School' what the hell?

Did they like suddenly run of names from the hat and suddenly panicked then when they realized the direction the school entrance was facing (South) the decided to call it 'North High School'? No idea but I was a hunch

Now ignore my lack of humor but when someone really can't think of something cheeky or witty to say you can't really believe that your funny or 'smart' in some cases.

I was deployed at the airport and went to the baggage claim to get my gear. I walked out of the airport and went to some hedgerows; I reached in with my hands to pickup Ichigo. "I'm sorry they did this to you honey! But I swear I'll make it up to you" I whispered into her 'ear' (more like handlebars) yeah people say I'm crazy for talking to vehicles or random objects but I reply to them 'Stop verbally communicating with my organic sound receptors! You are severely damaging my nervous system and I might initiate self destruct mode!' of course when you have nanomachines you really can blow yourself up. It's awesome!

I carried Ichigo to the streets and set her feet down onto the pavement very carefully not to ruin her new alabaster feet and inserted the key into the ignition, turned backed out onto the road and speeded to my 'base of operations' or 'Living Quarters'

I was supposed to go to some fancy schmancy hotel, and I did and encountered a bibliophile on the way! She seemed pretty cute, I mean she wasn't cute as in innocent she was more of like I have glasses and I might be a naught school teacher sort of thing... yeah I have a thing for girls with glasses especially with NATURAL violet hair! (I like exotic women)

I went up to my room: 66- just joking! 2-4-1. I unlocked the door and went inside my room and found it: comfortable. Unlike that dang airplane with me in between a fat German lady with blonde hair who was singing some damn opera song and an old Chinese grandma who I believe was trying to seduce me... holy crap that is scary.

I unzipped my bag and took out my MacBook Pro, yeah I don't do iPads. Entering the username and password I opened up good ole Microsoft Outlook and opened a new email.

It was technically earlier briefing with pictures and information about my target: Haruhi! I don't know why but I think I got some weird fantasy about her and me and her in a kinky dark corset. I think I got a hard-on. She looked average, she was a brunette although she didn't really look like my type I could tell she was exotic and that was confirmed with a footnote stating 'she seems very fanatical about the paranormal and supernatural and even during her childhood did some pretty wack things!' JACKPOT! I totally found some girl who is so exotic that I believe she might even be crazy.


End file.
